Don't talk with your mouth full!

I was sure I didn't want to see him anymore. I usually don't want to see the person in front of which I make a fool out of myself. How many of you are nervous in the presence of someone they like? Well, I was eating and talking at the same time. I have to do that, because being quiet is not one of my strong skills. Not even when I'm eating. So I was telling something really funny. And I was so amused about what I was saying that I started laughing. Of course, I never saw the next thing coming. The food that was in my mouth went all over his face. "FUUUCK..."
Small bread crumbs were leaking slowly on his cheek and a piece of ham was stuck on his nose. I wasn't sure if I should be happy that I didn't chew enough the food. With my mouth still open I was staring at him and praying for God to open a hole under my feet. God didn't. I think I stopped breathing for a while. He looked at his plate for what seemed to be an eternity. Then, started laughing. I should have been happy. But inside of me something died. How the hell do I end up in this situations??
The next day, I was walking towards home thinking that I have to avoid seeing him just for a couple of centuries. Of course, while I was thinking at an ingenious "invisible for him" plan, God did one of his magic tricks and in front of me appeared the unavoidable. HIM! Damn! Damn!?!?!?! Why is this happening to me. I looked around for an open door, open window, hole, sand, mud ... something where I can throw myself in, at or against. Nothing . At seeing me he put the smile on his face. At seeing his reaction, I put the creepy, nervous, "I wish a bomb would explode in this second" smile. He stopped. I stopped.
"How are you" he asked with the sweetest voice.
"Hummmmgood..." while staring my shoes. I could almost see the signs that my food left on his face. WHYYY????
"Soo... I'll be seeing you around?"
"Hummm... mmmyes..."
"Not for dinner, that's for sure" and he started laughing.
My face went red as a lobster. For sure. No dinner, no lunch, breakfast, brunch, snack... not even drinking water. Nothing!!