sâmbătă, 31 decembrie 2011

Why lie at all?

When the picture is to ugly, look for another angle. I am thinking over and over again at this sentence, and I am trying to see another angle, but it doesn't work. I swear that the man who invented these words was drunk. And yes, only a man could invent such words. The commercial with the drunk man that sees a beautiful women through the bottle of beer, instead of the monster that was there a few seconds ago, pops into my head. 
Damn, that won't help me solve anything. I want to look at the sky, but instead I look at the grey cellar from over my head. The phone from my hand starts vibrating and it scares me a lot. I put it under the pillow and I hope that he won't hear it. F**k! I tell myself that I am a hypocrite, because I tell everybody who listens that I am against looking in someone's phone. But now, after reading the messages, I understand all the crazy girlfriends, and I agree that if something smells fishy this is the easy way to see where the smell is coming from. Fortunately, the phone stops making noise and he still is in the shower. 
I bang my head on the wall and I raise the phone at the level of my eyes. I can't stop reading from it. It's like an addiction, even if you know you shouldn't, you keep doing it. How is this fair? How? Why should someone lie? Especially to someone that says out loud that he/she can take anything but lies.
From BlaBla(him) to BlaBla(a she) 'Still on for the meeting tonight? I might crash at your place, cause I want to taste you a little bit..'. I can't read anymore and I let my hand fall near me. I hear him getting out from the shower and I put the phone gently under the pillow. He is singing a song, not suspecting anything. 
'Why are u staying so dull?' he asks me while he searches for a pair of underwear in my drawer. 
'Bored. Are you sure you have to stay at work tonight ?' I ask as naive as I could be in this moment. 
'Sorry love, work is work.' he approaches me naked as he is, and kisses me gently. 'I promise I will make it up to you' and before I have the chance to say anything he continues his search for underwear. 
I am remembering our first serious conversation, in which we were agreeing that we will have an open relationship, in which we can meet other people if we want. Why lie now? Why lie at all?

2011 - new, joy, dance, music, longing...

Another year will be gone with the wind. 
As a kid time didn't meant to much in my life, I had time to play and that made me really happy, but as years went by I realized that the only thing you don't have to play with is time. You won't have time to do everything you want, so you must take your chance and enjoy all the opportunities as they come. Thinking twice might ruin too many chances, not thinking at all might keep your chances away. Take your time, but don't ever forget that time doesn't wait for you.
The year that is about to finish brought many happy moments. It began by filling the gaps in my life with new and great people. From the people of my school, to the people from my work, I was constantly surrounded by persons with whom I was able to have serious conversations, great laughs and a lot of dancing. Being a part of a group, helps a lot an individual. It helped me by improving my social skills and my bad jokes. The jokes are still pretty bad, but imagine they are better than the ones from last year! I want to thank them for accepting me as I am, for dancing with me, for singing next to me and especially for keeping in touch even when so many kilometers are in between.
Last year came with a very important change in my life. I am able to visit and live in another country. For the first time in my life I am in a place where Romanian isn't the native language and I don't meet the usual people every step of the way (actually, now I know a lot of people, so I can meet usual people each step of the way, but at first I was all alone :p). I had the chance to see a lot of beautiful landscapes, I had the chance to sit on a stone between two rocks at an altitude of 1000m above the ground, I had the chance to be in another world. Besides that, the best chance offered by this year was meeting different cultures. Living, eating and drinking in a environment where it doesn't count the color of the skin or the tallness, not even the language you speak back home. No! The only think that matters was that you are here. I want to thank my international friends for being as they are, for being from where they are and for all the great parties we had together. May many more come in the new year.
Another think that the year 2011 brought, was and is homesickness. Missing my family and my friends as I never missed them before. Being apart from them didn't seem such a problem, when that apart meant the same country, now it's painful. Painful because time doesn't stop for them, and I got to miss a lot of important moments, birthdays, Christmas and New Years. I know that the new world is a blessing, but that won't ever replace my world from back home. I am thinking of you each day. Thanks for thinking of me too! I love you!
2011 in a few words : new, joy, dance, music, study, longing, friends, GREAT!

joi, 22 decembrie 2011

Christmas is...

The smell of the fir tree, recently brought by my dad in the house and it's green color. 
The small lights surrounding the branches and spreading colorful rays.
The glossy globes that seem to float. Pucky playing with the globe from the last branch. 
My dad hugging my mom and telling her that he wants to taste the traditional food that is still on a small fire. 
My mom slapping his hand because he tastes it and after that he takes another spoon, and another and another... Just to be sure he got the right taste.
My brother making surprises for everybody and buying for me a perfume I usually hate :)). He getting upset and telling me that the next year Santa won't bring me anything. The next year he still loves me.
My sister screaming that somebody wake her up too early. Being cranky until I make a super joke. Even if it's about her, she laughs with all her heart. 
White snow, puffy and soft. A snow man that it's far from the ones u see in movies, but that it's perfect just because he has a special shape. 
The carols we sing watching the Christmas tree that shines in the room. My dad loves carols. My mom sings with us. Our precious family time.
Pretzels, nuts, apples. Candies, sweets, sponge cake. Family dinner, friends dinner. Loved ones.
The presents that wait for us under the tree. The waking up at 5am in the morning in order to see if you were as good as you thought. Childhood. Waiting for the bike and receiving the doll. Being as excited as before. Breaking the doll to soon. 
The city that shines. The lights you see everywhere. Angels, sleighs, reindeer, Santa Claus. 
The girl. The guys. My brother. My sister. Mom and dad. The people that matters.