Sometimes people get stuck in different fazes of their lives and they don't even realize it... and sometimes they get stuck trying to stay out of the fazes that might mean stability and closure and they turn out old grumpy scarecrows, who are too sick of life and of its downsides. I think i belong to the second kind. YEAH!! I think I will be that old lady who scares children and is always in mood for a fight... SO BEWARE!!
I don't know when, but someway along the road I refused to settle down. Maybe it was when my first real attempt of a boyfriend told me he really liked me. I got so scared, that instead of telling him that i really liked him back, i told him that i actually wanted to stop. Of course, in this moments I lie to myself, trying to find sorrowful excuses. "He was too short/thin/small/trustworthy(well, we find all sorts of stupid excuses when we really need too)". I still wonder what would have happened if I would have hugged him. I might have crushed him because he really was tinnier than me.
Or maybe I lost my hope for settlement when the second boyfriend i had told me he wants a grown up relationship. Meaning?!?! Well, a relationship were we act like grownups and we don't wait for things to happen, and we do things that grownups do. If some guy would sell me the same candies today, I would answer him very genuinely, probably looking at him naively, "Are you, by any chance, talking about sex? ??".
Or maybe it was when I tried to have a conversation with a sober guy and he didn't react at all, but after 5 beers he couldn't stop talking about himself? And at the ending of his monologue he told me our date was awesome and we should really do "this" again?
Oh, and let's not forget about the guy whom I thought was perfect for me and it turned out that he wasn't actually looking for a "half". Even tough he was looking for a slimmer, taller, big lipped "half"? Hey, you can't have friendship and relationship at the same time. To many "ships" to sale!!
Of course, I am to be blamed too. Since I talk a lot (especially when I am nervous), I am arrogant and superficial in many cases, and let's not forget that I tend to be ironic and sarcastic whenever something doesn't go as I plan it. But, due the fact that I am woman, it's never my fault!!!
So why will I end up a grumpy old lady? It's only because of the men I date!!! :)))