With the roots in my hand... i'm looking for fertile soil! Stavanger, here I come!

Michael Buble - Feeling Good

In the pitch black surrounding me an image of a big TV appeared. On that TV I am seeing a lot of numbers and a lot of words in a language I don't know. It's all black again. After a few more seconds another image appears. This time it's a door through which a lot of shadows are passing. After blinking for a few times, I realize that I'm not in a dream, I just have a hard time waking up. 

I'm feeling my eyes very heavy and my back hurts like hell. I will try to sleep in another place the next time I end up in a station at midnight. But until then I have to get up and start my day. After hearing all the stories about guys that left their luggage unsupervised that either they end up at the police or without them, I thought (What the F**k) I can't leave my "monster truck" here. So fully packed with the luggage, I started looking for a bathroom. Of course, in order to go to the bathroom I had to pay 10 crowns! Ain't that cute? But it's WRONG! Ok, so let's recap what's happening here : I have a wallet with 200 pounds, my mouth screams for water in, my bladder screams for water out and my belly doesn't scream anymore and that's strange cause it means that I will soon die! Not really. No. I won't die. But I might, because my belly is to quiet. Anyway, my point is that I have money in my wallet, but not the right kind of money. In the middle of the hallway I start laughing of my situation. What else can I do? Go from here to the train station. That is definitely a good idea. After asking the security guy of it's location I went for it. Cause there I have to find an Exchange Point. No? Well, the faith reserved me a bank on my way to the train station. And not just a bank, but a bank that has in it's vicinity a wall with plug. Iei. I am saved.

Of course the bank will open in a couple of hours, after my first train to Stavanger, but it still is a good think that i found it. I put my phone in the plug, I put my laptop in the plug and I am much happier than at the beginning of the day. When I saw people arrive at the bank I immediately started floating to the exchange point and after changing the money I ran (even if I had my luggage I was able to run!! I think thirst and hunger can give u supernatural powers) to a shop and I bought a large bottle of water. I drank like it was my last day on Earth.

Of course, my next trip was to the bathroom (after buying the ticket to Stavanger, cause I didn't want to miss it) and there I had to put coins into a machine. It was the same system as in the metro station. But for the bathrooms. So i took a coin, put it in the machine and ... nothing cause the coin slipped outside. I picked up the coin, looked at the machine again and put it again. Nothing. Maybe i just have to put it through. I pushed the things that were standing between me and the bathroom door without any luck. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I heard an inside voice. My bladder was going crazy! Shhh. Like in cartoons i picked the coin and put it again. And picked it again and put it again. Until a door opened. Angels started singing and the light coming from that door was heavenly! A guy from the security... Security for the bathroom ?!?!?! That's a new one. So, a guy from the security of the bathroom came outside, took my coin, put it in the machine and opened the door. Of course the place where I should have put the coin was elsewhere then where I was trying to put it. Anyway I had a victory a few seconds later. And another one before I went in the train. Happy me!

Unspoken words...

"I wanted to write something about you. I won't. I'll write about the green, green trees, blue, blue sky and red, red lips. Here's a new place without you and me. Nothings screams your name, nothing has your face and nothing makes me think about who I was. The room has a new, fresh smell and my eyes see every morning a new light. The tears I dropped once won't hunt me, because here, the floor didn't felt the weight of my tears, the walls didn't saw the shadows of my despair.

I try to remember why I laughed so much when we were as one. Instead I remember your hands and your touch, your skin. I see my face in the mirror. My smile isn't the same. You took my naive smile and you left me this ironic half of smile. I see the last moment we had. I was looking at you. You were staring at your shoes. I don't remember who was the first the leave. 

You know what's the funny thing? I never wanted something bad for you. Even when you ripped my heart out. I always hoped that you will be happy. I still hope that you will find what you are searching for. 

Damn. I said I will talk about the trees, sky and lips. Well, the trees are green, the sky is blue and the lips... The lips are as red as you know them..."

He read the letter again and again. When he finally stopped reading the words, he knew that he will never forgive himself. Now it was too late. He picked up the other letter he threw on the floor and with tears in his eyes he read the last sentence "I don't know is she would have wanted you to read it. Maybe if that car wouldn't have taken her life, the letter would still have been in a drawer....". He saw a drop on the paper, and then another one, and then another one. He raised his head and closed his eyes. Now the drops of rain were melting with his tears. He heard a voice screaming, but realized that it was his own. Now he was whispering like a mad man. One whisper that won't bring her back. "You left me staring at my shoes..."

With the roots in my hand... i'm looking for fertile soil! The trip 6

The first thing i notice about Oslo (i mean about the train station from Oslo) is that, on Friday night, here are a lot of young drunk people. And when i say drunk, i don't mean sweet drunk, laugh drunk or sad drunk, i mean drunk like shit, that aren't able to sit on a bench. Or to keep their legs one next to the other. How do I know that? In one corner of the station where i was the security guys tried to "resuscitate" the guy who felt on the floor and in the other corner there were two drunk girls, with short dresses. And long legs. And black panties (i don't know that by choice!). To tell you the truth it didn't really bother me that much. As long as they mind their own business, they can do whatever they want.

I was a little scared about this night, because on our way to Oslo (from Sweden) everybody asked me what am I doing in Oslo and if there isn't someone waiting for me.

I was very confident when i answered "Of course not! I will try to find a hotel. I searched one that is near town and I'll start looking for it when I arrive there".

What was the reaction? "Are you sure you want to do that? Oslo is a dangerous city! A lot of drug addicts run around the train station" (that was a lady standing next to me)

"I shouldn't keep that little purse there, cause it will be the first thing that they will steal!"

"I don't mean to scare you, but you should be really careful, cause it's a very dangerous place to be, especially during the night."

I think my face started to change radically because i heard someone saying "Hey, it's not that bad. You look like them and they don't usually steal or harm someone of their own nationality"

Great. My only protection was the fact that I looked like a Norwegian! That, and knowing that no one could run with my monster luggage. Well, if i ever thought to leave the train station at the beginning of my trip, now i'm sure that as soon as the bus stops in the station, I will tie myself and my luggage to a chair and won't untie anything until the sun will be way up in the sky!

"No, seriously.. You will be fine! You don't only look like a norwegian, you talk like one too" i heard the same guy. (Was he telling me in a nice way that i talked all the time and i laughed and made fun of everything?)

"Come on guys" the lady from the front seat told everybody "is enough that she has to spend one night alone in Oslo! Now she has to spend one night alone and scared in Oslo? Girl, listen to me! Nothing will happen to you if you stay in the light (nice way to cheer me up!) and when the day comes you will see that the city is actually really nice!"

As I started telling myself earlier, the first thing i noticed was that there's a lot of drunk guys, the second was that nobody really cared. The third one was that everybody thought that I was from there!! They came and asked something (of course i didn't understood any word!), and after my surprised look and nice english answer they went to find the correct answer in some other part of the station.

Now, being here, it doesn't look so bad. I mean i'm not afraid to stay here. Back home i would have pissed a few times just at the thought that i have to spend more that one hour in the train station. And don't let me start with the fear i would have felt anytime a shadow would have appeared somewhere near me! Definitely this is far from being a frightening place.

The security men took the drunk guy outside. The girls left. The train station is almost empty. I search for a quiet corner and after i arrange all my bags I take out my "Lost Symbol" and start reading. And soon... i fall into a dreamless sleep.

With the roots in my hand... i'm looking for fertile soil! The trip 5

I opened my eyes and i realized that I'm not in Kansas anymore. The guys left to find their loved ones and for the first time since my trip, I am all alone surrounded by foreign strangers.  I looked at my luggage and i remembered my mom saying "Cata, are you sure you will manage with carrying this monster?". My stubbornness answered very cocky "Of course, mom! How hard can it be? I'll smile until someone helps me".
Now, looking around in the Oslo train station's waiting room, I am thinking that the only person i could smile to is to drunk to carry himself, nevermind my luggage! It's 3am and even if there is a lot of rumor, it feels like i'm in a empty room, cause all the people enter through one door just to get out on the other.
My stomach sings like an opera lead singer (I had to throw my food this morning, so Today i ate only one sandwich and some waffles), but since i don't have any crowns i can't buy anything. Who would have guessed that i have so many useless money in my wallet? Ok, useless for the moment. And I'm so thirsty.
I feel my eyes very heavy and i guess that the two bus days that passed are starting to count. I put the baggage close to various parts of my body (leave the dirty thinking! I mean close to my back, or my foot or even my hand!). I think that this behavior shows how much of a romanian I still am! Filip knows very well what I am talking about, cause he slept into a train and when he waked up he discovered that he lost even the jacket that covered his body! I don't want to lose my monster pack after fighting with it for so many countries (to tell the you the truth, i just carried it for 5 min from the bus until this bench, but it was a true fight!). Anyway the point is that I was very tired. I put my hand on the "monster" and my head on my hand. I tried to lie to my body that the hard wood underneath my ass is actually a very comfortable mattress, the hand underneath my head is a big pillow (if only it would have been so big) and the hunched back position is actually the best that I could find. I almost fooled myself when a big noise pulled me from my mirage and brought me back in the train station. The drunk guy felt from the bench on the floor.Great!

Cu radacinile-mi in mana, caut pamant fertil... Calatoria 4

Ma uit la feribotul ce a acostat la mal si nu stiu ce simt. Imi este frica intr-un fel, pentru ca nu am mers niciodata cu ceva atat de mare pe apa. Barca, pluta, colac, merge, dar ditamai Titanicul, nu!! Sunt entuziasmata in orice caz. Baietii imi spun ca ar trebui sa stau linistita deoarece nici nu o sa imi dau seama ca sunt pe apa. Nu ii cred decat pe jumatate. Cand autobuzul incepe sa inainteze catre feribot inima imi tresalta de bucurie si incep sa topai ca un copil "Dumnezeuleeee!! Ce taaareee!!! Vedeti ce mare e? Vedeti?" le spun celorlalti, de parca eu as fi vocea ratiunii, iar ei ar fi orbi. 

Ciudat, cand se opreste motorul si cand in sfarsit coboram din autobuz, ma simt ca intr-o parcare subterana, nicicum pe apa. Ma asteptam sa simt miscare barcii pe apa si eventual sa caut prima toaleta pentru a putea voma linistita in ea. Chiar imi imaginam cum imi voi blestema zilele cu capul pe un "veceu", albastra la fata si cu o greata intensa la fiecare miscare a apei. Cand colo, nu simt nimic. A stai, nu am plecat inca. Urcam spre partea superioara si constientizez ca feribotul nu este decat un mare mall pe apa. Incepem sa umblam dintr-o parte in alta a feribotului pentru a cauta o priza (recunosc, ne si holbam la produsele de prin magazine si ne minunam de preturi). Eu si Marius avem foarte mare nevoie de o priza deoarece telefoanele ne-au lasat la greu. Cel putin al meu e "mort" de ceva ore. Am intrat prin magazine, am verificat marfa si cand am privit spre geam, surpriza : mergeam pe apa!! Am alergat in graba pe punte si am inceput sa fac poze. Am deja zambetul tamp pe buze si multe cuvinte in cap. Cred ca arat ca un copil ce vede pentru prima oara o maimuta sau ceva de genu!

Ce este foarte surprinzator, oamenii nu au nici cea mai mica grija cand vine vorba de a-si gasi un loc. Unii si-au pus rucsacul pe jos, capul pe rucsac si au incercat sa doarma. Desigur si noi le-am urmat exemplul (nu, nu am dormit unii pe altii!) si ne-am asezat undeva langa scari. Care a fost primul lucru pe care l-am facut pe apa? Ei bine, dragii mei prieteni, am baut o bere!! Baietii au cumparat un 24 pack de bere si l-au impartit cu noi (oare suna mai bine daca spun mine? avand in vedere ca tot spun baietii si ca eu sunt singura fata cred ca ar fi fost la fel de corect sa spun ca am impartit berile intre noi. Hmmm). Ce sa mai, ca la scoala.

Din cand in cand ma mai uit spre geam si inca nu-mi vine sa cred ca beau un Tuborg pe drumul meu spre Norvegia, pe un feribot ce ma duce din Germania spre Danemarca, inconjurata de niste oameni pe care pana ieri nu ii cunosteam. Si ce bine e!
Nici nu imi dau seama cand suna "clopotelul" ce ne indeamna sa ne indreptam catre mijloacele noastre de transport. Urmatoarea tara : Danemarca! Ma asez pe scaunul meu si gandurile negre incep sa imi dea tarcoale. Nu am simtit ca am parasit tara. Parca m-as afla pe drumul care duce spre Brasov de 2 zile. Si totusi nu ma duc spre Brasov, ma duc in Norvegia.. Ce o sa ma fac odata ajunsa in Oslo? La 1 jumate noap... nu apuc sa imi duc la bun sfarsit gandul ca observ vamesii cum fac semne autobuzului sa mearga catre garajul loc. Ca si la punctul de control din Germania ma simt de parca as avea ceva de ascuns! De fapt nu este decat o mare teama la gandul ca poate va trebui sa imi deschid bagajul monstru si atunci chiar ca am incurcat-o! Nu pentru ca as avea cine stie ce ilegalitati, ci pentru ca a fost nevoie de mine si de mama sa stam pe bagaj si de tata sa traga de fermoar pentru a-l putea inchide! Se aude in microfon vocea soferului care ne anunta ca va trebui sa ne dam jos din autobuz. Inima incepe sa imi bata cu putere si incep sa imi imaginez situatii in care raman in Danemarca avand doar 20 de euro in portofel. In afara autobuzului un vames inchide usa garajului, iar alti 2 au langa ei caini lupi. Parca as fi adormit si m-as fi trezit intr-un film de groaza. Se aude doar sunetul usii care se inchide. Asta e momentul in care ne impusca pe toti!
Dar nu, nu ne-au impuscat. Au verificat cu ajutorul cainilor autobuzul si apoi ne-au lasat sa plecam. Si uite asa m-am regasit in Danemarca...