Don't know how to play the game. I try. But i end up in a sad corner of the darkest room with the head on my knees and painful tears coming out of my eyes. Who makes the bloody rules and who decides who's winning? I search for signs and words that can help me, but no one knows how to spell them right. Or maybe I don't understand enough. First is the rage. After that is the sadness. The last one is the sound of another piece felling into the abyss. It's nobody's fault that I'm outside the box.
"Think positive" I hear a voice inside. I'm tired of that. Or maybe I'm just tired.
I'm being melodramatic. But ain't that part of everyday life? I'm loosing some. Instead of screaming, crawling and breaking, i'm just writing, crying and wondering. Wondering again and again where was the flaw. Facing the fact that the guilty one lies within me and only me.
Tomorrow I'll get up and face another day with a big smile on my face and another pot of trust. But... today... let me moan.
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