The first time i liked someone, i was a teenager girl who loved more the place than the person. I didn't like him as a guy, i liked him as the guy who always was in the same place. It was my comfortable place. I thought he liked me. I was wrong. He liked my friend. And i ended up just with the place. I realized that maybe the guy and the place are stuck one to another, because after he left I could see only some dirty walls and a pair of grey stairs.
The next time I liked someone, I was a teenager girl who loved more the body than the brain. I didn't listen words that came out of the beautiful lips, or sentence that made their way through the enchanting face. But i liked his hands, his chest, his legs. I never got to touch any of those, because I knew that he didn't liked me. At all. I tried to worship the body, but I didn't pay any attention to the soul, or the mind. He told me that he would have wanted someone different. Someone that listened to what he had to say. I lost. I realized that the body can vanish, but the mind can reach immortality.
The next time I liked someone, I was a girl who just found true love. I loved the way he talked, I loved the way he walked, I loved the way he ate. But I forgot loving the most important thing. Me. I didn't get a chance to love him as I wanted, because I was to afraid to be loved. And to be hurt. I realized that you can love someone with all your heart, if you don't love yourself it's all for nothing.
The next time I liked someone, I was a strong girl who wanted a guy at her arm. I wasn't expecting anything from him and from my time with him. I trusted him, but I didn't trust him with anything. I didn't have any feelings. I was a body outside and a statue inside. I promised myself that I wouldn't care about him. And I didn't. But I lost again. I realized that feelings make u human, not having feeling makes u... lonely.
The next time I liked someone, I was a different girl. Mix of feelings from my heart and my mind. I hated the games which one plays in order to be happy. I hated the whispers in ones ears. I hated the lies and the acts. I was wrong. It seems that shadows of our actions hunts us every time we walk. I realized that if there's a game and it needs players, if you aren't up for it, step aside.
The next time I will like someone... I hope...
