duminică, 25 martie 2012

Pondering...

Do you believe in karma? The whole make one bad thing, receive worse bad thing back? Well, I really believe in karma. I mean the bad karma, at least. Each time I think about doing something bad, I reflect a bit about the consequences. Usually that stops me from actually doing the bad thing, so you should understand from this that I am a bad thinker :))). 
Anyway, besides karma (or maybe it's inside the "karma rules" hand-book, don't really know) I believe in receiving with one hand, and giving with the other. At every good you receive, at the next corner something bad awaits. This rule applies for my "love" life.
Let's imagine me in a normal night. Hanging out with my friends. Drinking, having fun. A guy, let's call him M, sits next to me and starts talking with me. After a quick look I apply the tag "not my type" and I ignore him. I think this is the moment when, in guys, the "Challenge accepted" plan is on. And probably in girls too. Definitely in girls too. M at seeing me uninterested of his person, starts paying attention at my conversation with the others. He finds a window in the conversation and he contradicts what I have to say. Who can refuse a debate? WHO?? (P.S : my friends know very well that I love debates. Especially when I know I'm right :p)
From a debate to a kiss it's not such a long distance ...Actually it's a very long distance, but somewhere in our talk I realized that the guy wasn't such a waste. But let's not focus on that..  So by the end of the night, with the help of a few beers, me and MR are walking in the park, kissing, holding hands, all the bullshit that u find in love stories. Happy Happy Joy Joy. 
The next morning, the guy calls me and he tells me that he had a really nice night, that he really wants to see me again, bla bla bla. We settle a meeting after I finish work. Being the karma believer that I am, I was waiting the entire day for a thunder to strike me. Or an earthquake to kill me. Or maybe a choke to death sequence. Something. But no, the day was really quiet. I didn't get fired. I wasn't hit by a car. I didn't fell on the stairs. I really had a normal day. 
But, karma had something nice planed for me... Oh, karma. She's not cruel with me, she's just a bitch! In the evening I was on my way to meet the guy. I was feeling tired, but at remembering the night that passed I was excited at the same time. Excited is a really soft word, cause I get beyond excited when something good happens. I mean I think about that good all day, all night. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything 100%. I think and over think and remember and over remember and I see the good thing until the karma slaps the hell out of me!
So now I just have to open the door to see him. He waits for me and I can see that he is a bit nervous. I take a deep breath and I go outside. He looks towards me. And the very next second I see at him the face "Damn, this is definitely NOT the top-model I was with last night". Or maybe it's called "Fuck you, beer!". Or "I will never drink again. EVER!". If you know it's name (the face's name, not my date's name!), feel free to share it! I'm sure you felt it or seen it at least once. Anyway, my excitement was flushed down the drain, and even if I was wrong regarding his reaction, without my excitement I had nothing to do with him. We had a boring night. With a boring conversation. With a boring good bye. So ... thank you karma! Or maybe thank you, my excitement. Or maybe, thank you brain. Either way, I'm hopeless!

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